1. She kissed a girl...and then renounced God. I saw it. With my own eyes. She probably won't remember because she was so drunk and possessed by Satan, but it definitely happened.
2. She burned a cross and then stabbed a POTATO! A POTATO! and I mean, you'd think she'd like potatoes because of her hair and all...she's a TRAITOR. no one should trust her ever again.
3. She's a Satan worshipper who hates Irish people! Denounce her!
4. You must never go near her because she is a direct descendent of the Devil and singlehandedly caused the Irish Potato Famine.
5. And she hates straight people
6. She's a socialist.
7. She loved Soviet Russia.
8. She's an illegal immigrant from Soviet Russia!
9. She puts MSG in Chinese Food
10. She thinks Harry Potter is evil.
11. She wrote Dumbledore's death scene.
12. She's responsible for Harry naming his son Albus Severus.
13. She invented Umbridge.
14. She's the real reason James & Lily died.
15. She pushed Sirius through that curtain.
16. She's a Death Eater.
17. She tried to kill Buckbeak
18. She formed the opposing interest group to S.P.E.W. so she could crush house-elves' rights
19. She told Rosa Parks to get to the back of the bus.
20. She started the KKK
21. She killed JFK
22. She assassinated MLK Jr. and she's the reason we have to watch that stupid video every MLKJ day
23. She is also the reason that the creepy drug man in the health video we had to watch in homeroom exists.
24. She's the one who told Hitler's mom not to get an abortion.
25. She wrote/directed Nacho Libre
26. She's the person who invented nasty cough syrup.
27. She made the 3oz. limit rule in the airport.
29. She's a groupie for Nickelback
30. She gave birth to Kanye West.
31. She interrupted Taylor Swift at the Grammy's.
32. She is the reason the world is going to end in 2012.
33. She is the reason Fleenor is making us read The Wasteland.
34. She wrote Crime and Punishment.
35. She organizes Beta Club meetings and designs them so they last exactly 2 minutes.
36. She doesn't recycle.
37. She told Coach Gower not to accept the Most Like A Diva award.
38. She started the ripped leggings trend.
39. She invented the mullet.
40. She invented math.
41. She is the reason why the Grinch stole Christmas.
42. She loves Uncle Vernon.
43. She voted for Rufus Scrimgeour
44. She is Rita Skeeter.
45. She is best friends with Romilda Vane
46. She is the snake from The Jungle Book
47. She is the tiger and the snake from The Jungle Book
48. She hates Juliet and Ophelia's Sassy Gay Friend
49. She is the reason that Asian drivers can't drive.
50. She is the reason Criminal Minds doesn't come back until April.
51. She is the reason we don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop
52. She is the reason Dr. Camp is a teacher.
...to be continued... (we are not awful people.)
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