Remember St. Valentine? Yeah, nobody else does either. So all day I've been wishing people a "Happy Valentine's Day! May it be more memorable than the reason we celebrate this day in the first place." And for some people, it is. But others turn to the more boring (or as some people call it "clichè) act of going to see a romantic movie after a day of conversation hearts from the 90's that still say "fax me." And that is totally fine and boring and have fun doing it for the next 20 years.
I joined those type A personalities and went to the movies tonight with some friends for V-day tradition, and saw The Vow. It was actually a lot better than I thought it would be, and I think I'd recommend it. But the movie isn't the important part about this post; it's the people. And the people in this theater were just too good not to write about later.
First, there were the pre-teens. The middle school girls who come in groups of 4 or 12 with one parent who probably regrets every life decision they've ever made leading up to this point. These are the girls who are giggling and texting each other while sitting an inch apart about how hot Channing Tatum's shoulder freckles are. And granted, they're right, but they're also wearing sweaters that say things like, "You wish I was your girlfriend" on them, which negates everything they've ever intelligently come up with in their short time on this earth.
Then there were the guys in the theater who were only there because it meant a huge payoff for them later. They bought the popcorn. They bought the drinks. They're just glad the run time for this movie was less than 2 hours because the sooner they could benefit from doing all this stuff for their ladies today, the better.
It's hilarious, too, because there are 2 different sides of the "couples on dates on valentine's day" spectrum, and we had both types sitting on either side of us. The first couple was a girl and a boy who were holding hands at first, but when the girl started crying about something sad going on (I don't remember what it was because she was kind of crying a lot, and I guess I'm an emotionless cyborg or something because I don't cry during movies unless an old person cries or a dog dies), he started trying rub her back. But he was so AWKWARD about it, and it definitely didn't help that she was wearing some sort of raincoat. So the sounds next to me were a mix of loud sniffling and someone scratching a plastic coat. Really helped the ambience. This guy was on the side of the spectrum where he was going to be on his best behavior. The whole time.
And then on the other side, by my friend, was the couple that was making out the whole time, because it's a wise investment to spend 10 dollars on a movie and then make out in public and not see most of said movie. You really can't get the same effect on a bed or a coach with a rental. To make things greater, the guy was paying NO attention whatsoever, so the girl took it upon herself to explain everything that was going on to him the whole time. "So...um...she just lost her memory and doesn't remember him because she was in an accident. And he's her husband and he loves her and she doesn't know who he is." Thank you, yes, that just happened. He's blind or stupid, honey, let it go. He's on the side of the spectrum where's he's locked things down enough that it really doesn't matter how he behaves during the movie, because he showed up.
And then there were the groups of single girls who go to see a movie like the Vow because they are determined to live out their valentine's day dreams....which probably never included seeing a romance movie with 8 of their friends. They have that "fuck you, social expectations! I don't need a man! See? I don't need a guy to watch this with!" They say they do this shit ironically, but they don't.
And finally there are was me and the group of awesome people that I went with. Cinema majors who really just like movies and can take this holiday for what it is: a nice day for people to appreciate their loved ones, and also a time where Hallmark executives laugh all day long without a single breath in between the ha's. Who can stand to not text during movies and sneak in fast food so we don't break the bank on concessions.
But hey, to each their own.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment