Abbreviations

Totes. Awes. Presh. Obvi. Awk.

...What? I know. Abbreviations (abbrevs- see that? ha. clev. clever.) are a cultural phenomenon of my generation that I will probably never understand, and they annoy me to death. Why is it so difficult to use an entire word? It certainly doesn't make you sound any smarter when you shorten a word to half its length, and you're probably making your vocabulary feel bad by not using it to its full potential.
Using abbreviations doesn't even save you that much time. A lot of the time, abbreviation-illiterate people (such as myself) have to have the abbrev explained to them, which takes MORE time, when the whole situation could have been avoided if you had a Sassy Gay Friend..just kidding. But it could have been avoided if you just said what you were trying to say in the first place.
I have a theory that one day in the not-so-distant future, abbreviations will just be shortened to letters. "Wanna H today?" "T."

And all of the conversationalists of the world will drop dead on the spot. Their eulogies? "They L'd a good D. RIP :( "

And of course, as a hypocritical being, I admit that I use abbreviations from time to time. But ONLY because "legitimate" does not rhyme with "quit." Obvs.

Don't Worry About It

Is there a phrase out there that's more annoying?

"Hey what are you up to tonight?"

"Don't worry about it"

(Person one hits person two with a shovel)

This is basically the appropriate response to being told not to worry about something.

Do people really think that they're so important that other people spend all their time worrying about them? That's very ego-centric.

I mean, I've lost ages of sleep just worrying and worrying about what particular people are doing. You know, the usual, things like: what did you just say? when is that thing we're going to? did you dye your hair? what are you thinking about?

I may as well just give up on trying to live my life with all the worry that consumes me daily...


..but not really.