Babysitters, we’ve all been there, the parents are dipping out the door, while their two or six children are sitting in plastic chairs finishing their dinner (or not) and restraining themselves from arguing until the car is safely out of the driveway. Your employers leave a note with their number (put please, do not call) and instructions on what you should do with their kids before bedtime. And then what? And then all hell breaks loose, that’s what. Here are some things that parents should know about babysitters, from babysitters:
1. If your kid is sick, I do not want to babysit them.
-Just as you wouldn’t want to be around me while I’m blowing my nose, I do not want to be doing any of the following things: cleaning up vomit, picking up your kid when they’re hacking up a lung, or blowing a nose that is currently infected with a cold. I totally understand that you don’t want to be around, but hey, neither do we, and you spawned the thing, so take care of it! There is nothing worse than going, unsuspecting, to a house, saying goodbye to you, and picking up your kid, only to get a face-full of a cough that you haven’t taught them to cover their mouth for. It’s gross. Reschedule.
2.. It’s punishment for us when you don’t allow them to watch a movie/tv show.
-Of course you don’t want your kid to be mesmerized by TV for hours, and I love a good game of Hide-n-Go-Seek as much as the next girl, but when I’m at your house from 4pm till midnight, and your child doesn’t go to bed until 9, It would be an IMMENSE help if you’d at least let us pop in Madagascar or something. There are only so many minutes you can spend having a tea party or playing house.
3. While it may be a “special treat” to let your children stay up an extra one or three hours, it’s definitely not the case for us.
- I take back what I said before about children being sick taking the cake for the worst thing that can happen. NOTHING is worse than when a parent says (IN FRONT OF THE KID) “well…they can stay up until 10 or 11” when their usual bedtime is 8 or 9. That’s simply a delay of the inevitable fight that ensues when the word “bedtime” is called. Also, kids get more hyper as the night goes on because they’re more and more sleep deprived. It’s terrible.
4. We Make Promises To Your Kids
- If a child starts crying because they can’t have ice cream/food/drink/movie/whatever they want at the time, I’m going to tell them that they can have it tomorrow. But guess what? I won’t be there tomorrow. Yes, it’s a cop out. But you should have warned me that they were going to ask for that, and told me what to say. Have fun making PB&J’s for breakfast in the morning.
5. Offer Us Food
- If you call me to babysit at 5 o’clock, chances are I had plans in my day before that. But it’s awful to walk in at 5, have the kids almost done with dinner, you guys leave, and I’m left hungry because I’ve had no dinner and you won’t be home until the wee hours of the morning. It’s even worse if everything in your pantry is never-been-opened-brand-new. Tell us we can eat.
6. Don’t Be Stingy
- I charge $10 an hour. That’s pretty standard. You told me you’d be home around 10. I’ve been there since 6. It’s 12:25. Don’t pay me $62.50. Pay me at least $65.00. For one thing, you’re 2 hours late. For another, what am I going to do with fifty cents? I’ll tell you. I’ll combine it with fifty more cents and have a dollar. So just go with a whole dollar amount.
7. We Aren’t Going To Tell You If Your Child Was Bad
- You don’t want to know. Seriously. In my experience, if I tell a child’s parents that their kid attempted to kick me in the face when I suggested a bath, they’re not going to ask me back anytime soon. Also, it makes me look like I can’t handle your kids, and you look like bad parents. Lose-Lose Situation. We’ll just vent to our parents about it.
8. Tell Us How To Work Your TV
- I don't live at your house. You have 27 different remotes, and somehow none of them turn the TV on. It's not like I'm planning to ignore your kid and watch MTV the whole time, it's just that once they go to bed at 9 and I'm there until 12, I'd like to have something to do. Also, The Soup comes on at 10 on Friday nights.
9. Warn Us About Having...Stuff...On Your DVR
- We don't need to see that you have porn on your DVR. Gross. Seriously. If you would be embarrassed to have your mom see it on there, why would you want us to see it? Enough Said.
10. We Like Babysitting, So You Can Leave..now..
- It's wayy uncomfortable when a parent hangs around forever after we show up. We're responsible, and your kids won't start listening to us until you leave.. so ...leave.
