1. Wear Deodorant. Seriously. I'm sitting right up next to you. It's not my personal choice, but you're not making it any better by smelling rank. I mean, who knows how long this plane ride is going to last? There could be turbulence or a delay and oh my god is there really a reason to keep raising your arms to stretch?? Common courtesy. You don't have to smell like a cake factory, but let's keep it classy. Thanks.
2. Cover Your Mouth. I'm weird about germs. That's a personal thing. But if you think about it, an airplane is pretty much the most likely place to get sick. The air recirculates. You're basically breathing in someone's cough from up in seat 19A while you're in 31E. That's totally disgusting. So when you cough or sneeze, please do everyone a favor and just cover your mouth.
3. Get the Hint. I have my iPod in. I'm also facing the window. And yet you are STILL trying to start a conversation with me about how you love wiener dogs with a passion and wish to open up a special government sector dedicated to their beauty. I'm not interested.
4. I Am Not Your Pillow. People get sleepy on planes. It's understandable; Plane rides are pretty boring. But if you're in the aisle seat, and I don't know you, and I'm in the window seat, it is definitely NOT okay to lean on me. *note: this is especially awful if you snore or drool.*
5. No Drinking, Please. Fact. Drunk people are funny. Fact #2. Drunk people are less funny when they're right next to you on a plane for 2-6 hours.
That's my belated rant on plane rides. Did you know that seat 31A on an airplane isn't a window seat? I did. Because that was my seat on the way back from Maine. No window, the armrest didn't go up, and I was directly in front of the bathroom next to a man who decided personal hygiene just wasn't his thing. Cool, life.
